Chirp Chirp

As I sit here writing this, I can hear the song of birds outside my window. I have faintly heard their songs for the last couple of days, but didn't really pay any attention to it until this morning. For some strange reason, the sound of birds chirping away invigorated me. It hit a part of me that I didn't expect it to. I'm not really sure if it is the reminder of warmer weather, of a beautiful spring, or if it is something more - maybe the sound reminds me of a new beginning.

I've been trying to figure out a lot of things in my life for quite some time, and it only recently became crystal clear what I want to do as far as a career: psychology. I have applied to go back to college, although getting some transcripts sent over could present a slight problem, but the fact that I finally have something concrete in my mind that I want to do is something huge for me. During the last four years or so, very few things have felt concrete. My relationship with my boyfriend is one of those things and now a career path. I think that I am learning that there is more that I can control in my life than what I cannot. I can't control my migraines, but I can control what I can and cannot do while I have them. I've been learning that while this is something that I am living with, and it does take over a huge part of my life based on what I am able to do or not do until we find a successful treatment, I can control how I treat myself and others while I have them. I shouldn't be beating myself up over them (since I have no control) and I shouldn't take my frustrations out on others either.

I think the sound of chirping birds has given me a little clarity this morning. For some reason, the sound gives me hope. The songs that they sing remind me of the detail and precision with which God created them (and everything else in our world). So many stresses and complex things happen throughout our lives, but sometimes, it's the simplest of sounds that remind us that things will work out if we just have a little faith and hope.

Over a flippin month!

Alright, I have to admit that I didn't think that I would possibly go this long without writing. My head is running with thoughts as usual, wondering and contemplating things that don't really matter. As much as I think about things that I can't control, isn't it a good thing that we can sometimes (or at least I can sometimes) think about things that just don't make any sense or have nothing to do with anything going on with anything. While I have spent some time watching the wonderful series of Sex and the City, I've noticed that a lot of the dating situations that can take place in someone's life are nothing like what has happened in mine. I can't say that I have ever been in an actual "dating" situation. I'm dating of course, but it's a serious, long term, monogamous relationship where I am actually part of a couple - not a situation where I am just getting to know someone and am actually going out on dates. I feel like I could be living vicariously through the character of Carrie Bradshaw. Watching that show and thinking about how my life has been with relationships, it has made me wonder: What is the dating norm these days? Is there a certain way that we are suppose to date someone or are we all so completely different from each other in our dating rituals?